Penny Penumbra
by @kc_
Skirmish: Penumbra (@florian)Liner Notes
#skirmish #penumbra #needscollab
Great word! Really stirred the creativity. Like where it's going but needs some work... on these timed writes I have found I can fall into a limerick meter in some verses! LMAO!! Not perfect but done for now!! #5!!!
Lyrics
Intro Penny Penumbra Ooo, she had my number and took everything that I had Yeah, she took everything that I had
v i A spell and fell under penumbra In the soft shadow, I lie and wonder when the moon rise is nigh Confused by clear skies How's she bring down huge claps of Thunder
C I'd stand and sing any song for her She'd dive deep into my soul fathomed strains in my heart would stir a red hot love of gold
v ii Never drew a clear line, I could hold her to, coil of barbed wire lace She'd always pass through (or - she's always passing through)
Bridge? Softest light - cast from her eyes brought shadows that - would hypnotize I would fall - for all the lies She'd have me all night long Oh, she'd Have me all night long
C I'd stand and sing any song for her She'd dive deep into my soul fathomed strains in my heart would stir a red hot love of gold
v iii Never drew a clear line, I could hold her to, coils of barbed wire lace Set with a hammer, saw and screw
outro More wrong than right but never a blunder my soft moon shadow girl penny penumbra
Comments
Oh, geez, you managed to rhyme the prompt - wow! I wasn’t even convinced it would do as a title (too nerdy?!), and you effortlessly throw it into the lines, that’s some impressive writing! “Coils of barbed wire lace” is a great line.
This is really an epic story in a short space of time with many lines which ask the reader to ponder just what is going on. Good work!
Oh Yes! You have taken a route that was taken by one of the most famous songwriters in Catalonia, where I live. He wrote a song everyone knows and sings along to here called "Boig per tu" (Crazy for you).
On the surface it is a love song to some lass or other, but diving deeper into the song you realise it is actually a guy looking up at the moon and singing that he's crazy about her. (Lluna - is a feminine word grammatically).
I get those kinds of echoes here. Or did Penny just have an unusual surname? 😉
Let me know, please, if you set this to music.
This is a wonderful love, so concisely rhymed. You really drew me in with these lyrics.