FAWM: "Queerplatonic"

Queerplatonic

1 week ago by @alyxanderjames

Queerplatonic

alyxanderjames

00:00

Liner Notes

I've been trying to write this one for a bit, and I'm not sure it's quite there yet, but I think I like this as a start.

"Queerplatonic" can have a few definitions depending on who you're talking to, but the basic idea is a deeply committed friendship that has a lot of the same characteristics as a romantic relationship (like deep emotional intimacy and prioritization) without being romantic or sexual. I've seen it described as "more than friends, less than lovers," but I think that kind of misses the point. It's a whole different paradigm for looking at relationships.

I have a romantic partner who I adore, and who this song could also apply to, but I specifically wrote this thinking about my dearest queerplatonic friend, trying to capture some of what makes our friendship so special to me.

Update 2/13: I ended up re-recording a cleaner demo of this and releasing it here!

#Queer #Folk #PersonWithGuitar #SingerSongwriter #Love #AcousticOneTake

Lyrics

I've never understood why romance Should matter more than friends Why we feel the need to minimize As if some bonds should somehow matter less

There are many ways to love, and yet

I didn't always know That love could feel like breathing And I've been told That love's more than a feeling It takes work But with you here beside me We make it easy

I am more of who I am When I'm with you, and I know That who I am is not too much We're truest when we let ourselves be loved

We're co-creating sanctuary Another sort of home I would never say you're "just" a friend We're building something we can call our own

Language can be limiting, and yet

I didn't always know That love could feel like breathing And I've been told That love's more than a feeling It takes work But with you here beside me We make it easy

I grew up reading that there was No greater love than sacrifice I'd give anything for you But I think we'd both prefer to stay alive Side by side

I didn't always know That love could feel like breathing And I've been told That love's more than a feeling It takes work But with you here beside me We make it easy

Comments

@wynia 6d

This is a really cool concept, one that I've not heard a word to describe until now. I think the tone of your song, with all of the overtones of warm friendship and non-sexual admiration, is very apt foran ode to this type of relationship

@bee 6d

I feel like I learn new things when I read your lyrics! Thanks for sharing this vulnerable song. Sorry it took me so long. I wrote the first song and haven't been back on since. Life is so insane right now. Glad to be here today thought! Big hugs <3

@orinthebard 6d

Your lyrics are lovely and describe the queerplatonic bond elegantly ("Co-creating a sanctuary") and sometimes humorously ("I think we'd both prefer to stay alive.") Relationships that feel like breathing are the ones that give us life.

"And yet." I love the concept of "queerplatonic" but I hate how hard it is for me to wrap my mind around it, especially considering I'm a queer neurodivergent person and I "should" be able to break paradigms. The cultural conditioning against any serious found relationship that can't be nailed down into romance is so strong. May we all incorporate love more creatively into our lives.

@alyxanderjames 6d

It is SO HARD to break out of the cultural conditioning. A big part of what made it easier to wrap my head around this was realizing I was ace, and all the deconstructing of what relationships "should" look like that came out of that. But yeah. Love is not a finite resource and it can take so many forms!

@coolparadisoMod 6d

Very nice song, some things are had to box neatly, like some languages actually don't have words that others have to describe something. Very interesting

@danieldeshon 1w

Beautiful song right here. Your voice and that guitar go together like a hand in glove. Wonderful lyrics. Well done!

@cathymc 1w

Oh, this is GORGEOUS and needs to be expressed. This song makes me so happy, thank you!

@nwhosings 1w

Oooo...yes this! I've been deconstructing my own perception of relationships and what actually it means for me to love people. I cherish my deep friendships and they are something not more or less than romantic, but distinctly other. Love the phrasing on the chorus, it emphasizes the feeling of ease.

@nancyrostMod 1w

I love the ideas and the feel of this, and the gentle vocal that reinforces the natural and easy nature of this kind of relationship. Thanks for the meaningful song.

@wrenarcher 1w

Oh Alyx... the lyrics hits so hard with me. I have a very dear friend who I'm absolutely in love with... but in a friend way, which I've only recently understood it's okay to feel for someone who... like you said in the liner notes is "more than a friend but less than a lover." She's like one of my soulmates.

And so I, a trans lesbian have a bestie who is a cis, straight woman. It isn't romantic. It's amazing. It's incredible. We have a wonderful, beautiful, strong bond that is so much more than friends or chosen family.

Thank you so much for sharing this song.

@alyxanderjames 1w

I'm so glad it resonated with you!

@geekysoprano 1w

Catching up on comments later in the month than I would have liked, but had to start here. As someone with a much beloved queerplatonic partner this absolutely describes the depth and intimacy of a form of connection that so many (for whatever reason) can't seem to understand. So grateful to hear your music again. <3

@alyxanderjames 1w

Thank you, friend. <3

@rhythmrunner 1w

I really love this song . You have really nailed the sentiment. I feel like there aren’t enough songs out there that address this kind of love.

@alyxanderjames 1w

Thank you - and I agree, there should be more love songs about non-romantic relationships!

Command Center

Queerplatonic

Liner Notes

Lyrics

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