The repeated denial in your chorus is quite heartbreaking, in an “I’m Not In Love” sort of way. There are some very touching moments in this song, and your delivery is very apt for the theme. The unexpected musical turns kept me engaged til the end. You’re a talented lady, Marieke.

I like the key change and the feeling leaps out the speakers. Good sing and write.

Relatable - and a little bit hopeful? I'm glad you finished this one and I found it. I like songs that are grounded in everyday life like this. Sadly, everyday also includes the wishing.

I absolutely love this, Marieke. You always manage to capture such emotional magnitudes in relatable chunks. beautiful song, fantastic chorus.

Beautifully done. The story is so relatable, and the melody is beautiful. I’m glad you went back and finished it up. Great first fruits!

Ooo, this was definitely worth the time to finish! Glad I saw you'd updated the demo. The key change is the perfect cherry on top!

so lets talk about those chorus chords - which are exquisite by the way. I love the whole sentiment you have created in this and the sneaky key change just adds to the almost desperate juxtoposition of the 'I am fine' and the 'I want you to be here'. Love. It.

I like the way you told your story. Instead of focusing on the hurt, you tell the effect it has on everyday life. Good skirmish.

I love the raise in the melody on the 'there' and i like that it's fast I am fine's and then slow I am fine's

Oh I quite like this, you've really captured that sense of longing underpinned with the determination to be fine. I wonder if switching the way you've done the phrasing of the "I am fine"s, to do the ones that come faster and closer together first, and then draw them out the second time, would be an interesting thing to play with? But it's great as is!

I can feel the longing. I can relate. The resolve at the end, trying to convince yourself. Well done

It sure feels like a complete song already to meet. That sentence "I am fine" repeated over those different chords seems like the singer is trying to speak it into being, but it's hard to believe. There's something about ending in that deflated unexpected space that captures that sense of unwanted absence that's getting in the way of everything else. I liked the those D sounds in the first line kind of make this kind of buzz of activity - that didn't happen. So glad to hear your voice again.

This is a lovely melody, the chord movements are great too, I like how it drops to a minor after the major lift, brings another narrative to the plaintiff, striking lyrics.

Really like this. Love the use of, is it a 7th in the chorus? it really helps to build or flow. It may feel unfinished but you can always work on it further, or leave it as these feelings may be fleeting, repeat to fade on I’m fine. Just a thought.

As you say it's incomplete, but I know you can write a third verse as good as the first two about things you didn't do (read a book? pay the bills? cook your dinner?) A great start to your FAWM

Hi @mariekevink. This song is lovely - and great for an hours work. Nice melody, tight rhyme scheme, Some lovely chord choices. What I really like about it is that it is deceptively, on the surface, very simple but you leave the listener with many questions they need answers for. Your choice as the writer is whether or not to give us them in what comes next - or leave us hanging. 😄

Lovely melody and performance! I am wondering how this will continue. It is interesting how the song seems to be going in the direction of "missing you" but then you don't need rescuing. Waiting for the next verse! :) Nice write!