FAWM: "Stupid Tiny Car"

Stupid Tiny Car

Liner Notes

As a comedian, I am always trying to find something funny in Things That Suck. This one’s inspired from a breakup nearly five years ago - so it took a while, and I’m not even sure it’s that funny. But hey, it’s something to kick off FAWM 2026!

One of the benefits of FAWM is that I can write any kind of song I want. Even songs that aren’t that funny. There are no rules!

Arrangements made with Band In A Box. Vocals recorded late at night trying not to wake up flatmates.

#bandinabox

Lyrics

We don’t talk anymore But I still think about you Far more than I should I know I need to let it go You hurt me more than Anyone else ever could

Remember when we drove and talked for hours? I’d go anywhere with you, both near or far It felt like we were the only two people in the world But we were just the only people Who could fit inside your stupid tiny car

Just me and you In your Smart Car Fortwo

Do I still cross your mind? I hope I do But how do I know without proof? Do you still drive a car That’s small enough to pick up And put on a roof?

I think of me and you In your Smart Car Fortwo

Sometimes I wonder if our paths Will ever cross again There’s so much that I wish that I could say I would tell you that I’m sorry If I ever got the chance But I know you’d just turn and walk away

And about ten minutes later You’d come back around the corner And you’d look me in the eye And run me over With your stupid tiny car

It could take a little longer Depending on how far away you parked But you’d definitely hit me with your car Your stupid tiny car

Comments

@johnkaniecki 3h

I used to drive a stupid tiny car. I enjoyed listening to this. I am sure he's thinking of you

@stephenwordsmith 9h

I've had the privilege of hearing you perform live over the years. This one is less laugh-out-loud than your usual fare; more a bittersweet half-smile creeping across the face at the last line of the chorus - the comic payoff in the tragedy.

Or so it seems until we get to 'about 10 minutes later' - this is the point where the audible chuckles from the audience would rise above the quiet musical and vocal delivery, where the tongue and cheek really take over this group project. Artfully done.

@danxduran 10h

'Something funny in things that suck' is going to be a HUGE genre on FAWM this year, I suspect. Nice little tune - I thought 'Smart Car for Two' was a good potential title too.

@funnypunkband 15h

Hey, always "trying to find something funny in Things That Suck" - sounds like a songwriter after my own heart! I love the unexpected "stupid tiny car" reveal - a really nice punchline to the sentimental setup.

@alyxanderjames 16h

This is a delight! It's funny and poignant and paints such a vivid picture.

@frenchcricket 16h

This was really funnysad. You have a gorgeous tone, I feel like I could listen to you sing the news. I actually used to have a ForTwo. It was yellow, it looked like a lemon with wheels.

@max 17h

Big grin! So much fun. Great start.

@johnstaples 17h

Well, first, YES, this is funny! But it is also beautiful! Your vocals are just amazing! And the lyrics are tender and touching! Then, kinda out of the blue, you hit me with "stupid tiny car" and I LOVE that! The first time it was an unexpected funny. But then I was wanting it again!! And I smiled, no, grinned each time it happened again. So this is beautiful and poignant with just enough humor to really accent it. I love, Love, LOVE this!

@sapient 17h

Ah, that thing that you can't let go of, eh? Try to be nice about things in the past, but no, there is THAT THING. This is so sweet and gentle and yet still makes me think of ABCDEFU by Gayle...

@ayeahmur 17h

Definitely funny. Definitely sad. In fact this is a lovely balance between the two in a Tim Minchiny kinda way. There are some lovely lines in here, but the "It felt like we were the only two people in the world" couplet really nails the heart of the song and made me smile. Brilliant bit of undercutting with the reply. And the last bit about him running you over is delightful too.

Also - for a late night tryna be quiet session, this is beautifully sung.

Great job. Following!

@coolparadisoMod 17h

yup the freedom to tell you it your own way! ha ha that did turn around! very effective simple piano line and your vocals tell the story so well. Very nice song