FAWM: "VRBO, You Stank Ass B*tch"

VRBO, You Stank Ass B*tch

NSFW

Liner Notes

True story, unfortunately. I don’t recommend booking with VRBO, Airbnb, or any of these apps that work with third-party hosts because they will not refund you if something goes wrong.

Content warnings: INSECTS, late stage capitalism

Lyrics

Jay Smythe, you stank ass fucking bitch Your trap house was infested with cockroaches It smelled like cigarette smoke so bad that we gagged And something laid eggs in my friend’s open bag So we left as soon as possible and booked a real hotel With the promise from Taylor, your stank ass ho

That we would be refunded

VRBO, you stank ass fucking bitch I’m never booking with your ass again Your terms and conditions required a psychic To tell us to cancel a month before your fuckshit And that’s simply not fair to the average working person Who should be able to expect cockroach-free vacation

But we never got refunded

Huntington, you sneaky little bitch This hurt the most cuz I’m a loyalist You are the least annoying bank that I have had thus far But after this I’m closing your stank ass credit card Cuz you gave less effort to my case than I made on this song And I told your rep Selena that and she nodded along

Selena, I know you did nothing wrong I hope you get a better job Cuz girl, we don’t need this Selena, where are the guillotines? Where are our Luigis? When will we both be freed From the cockroach class????

And to Jay Smythe, you stank ass fucking bitch I hope you never beat the cockroaches I hope you and Taylor get genital lice And that the bedbugs bite within an inch of your lives If you won’t return the money that you got from me I hope that you lose it in your bankruptcy

And you never will recover If I never get refunded

Bitch

Comments

@cathreu 9h

Content warnings are on point. So many zingers here. Jay, Huntington, and VRBO will absolutely never recover from this. I love that Selena has her own theme tucked in the middle of this one. Hilarious, but also poignant, as a fellow member of the cockroach class. If that weren't enough, you have a great voice! I will be back for more songs in March!

@tangle 1d

I knew this would be epic from the title. I sure hope Jay Smythe hears this.

@alyxanderjames 3d

Oh god, this is great and also horrifying. Cockroach class, indeed.

@nwhosings 3d

Banger. Straight up. So f*cking catchy!!!!! Funny and also rage inducing. May all your curses come to pass should your conditions not be met.

@aeye 3d

This absolutely matches up with other complaints I've heard about VRBO. Plus all those friggin fees!

@orinthebard 2d

For real! The listing we booked even said "no hidden fees" and then there was an $80 cleaning fee. Which they didn't refund us either despite the place not being clean when we got there 🤣🙃💥

@negasi 3d

This is one of the funniest songs I have ever heard and I think a small part of that is that this is based in reality, that is so unfortunate though oh my. I am sorry you had to go through that but on the bright song what a banger song, Im crying laughing over here. It flows so well too!

@froggymagee 3d

LOL noooooo the fact that this is a true story, I am on the floor dying laughing! I am so sorry that this unfortunate experience is making me laugh. Also, so F'ed up that you didn't get refunded, STUPID VRBO