Rap #1 for the final week of FAWM. This easily took me 2x the time of any other track from this year and I have... this to show for it.

I got a lava lamp last year from Goodwill and my 5 year old was immediately terrified and offended that I brought it into the house because "WHAT IF IT BURNS THE HOUSE DOWN". Every time he comes into my office, he asks to turn it off.

This is what I imagine he imagines would happen if it broke.

Lava lamp, lava lamp on the shelf, I'm laid back, lazy, feeling lit, Didn’t think it would destroy itself

CRACK Tried to grab it, tried to stop it, Now the floor is falling down, And my sneakers start to melt.

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes on this Earth, Bought the lamp last year and look, we had it good for what it's worth, Didn’t think this would be the end of all of us But here we are.

Neighbor Greg is screaming, he’s banging on my door yelling "WHAT’D YOU DO?", but, man, I’m not sure. Greg it's lava, it's FUCKING REAL lava, can't explain it, call yo mama, call Obama, call whoever's gonna

help us, fire department’s on fire Pentagon making calls, along the wire, but the cables are melting, panic in the streets, Schools, malls, hospitals dissolving in the heat

CNN is going live to a correspondent, But the feed is getting fuzzy because death is now upon us He’s standing in street, the street is luminescent, Said "Back to you, Jim" but Jim is no longer present

Billionaires are panicking, they thought they were elite Private islands? Underwater. Mega yachts? They can’t compete They got the money, got the power, got the bunkers, got the fleets but this is motherfuckin’ magma, chasing Zuck while grilling meats

I didn't start the magma, But I'm really sorry since now we're all char-ry I didn't start the magma, I didn't light it, but the receipt says I did buy it