FAWM: "Heaven Shampoo"

Heaven Shampoo

Skirmish: Distinctly Human* (@zinnithequeen)

There is no demo for this song.

Lyrics

Lady's finger see she swim through bed of coral coming up for air then cavorting to the deep. Ochre sun cut through silky veil, see her head shake and nosey neighbours shrink back into widow's weeds. Bus jerk spinning me into transports oft denied; how her hair caress my soft-held breath which gently part the waves. Tongues may wag contempt but hers she wrap round rosebud curling there an interest presently. In Heaven Shampoo she find me her scented hair sucked in morning dew hanging loose down dimpled cheek. And when she shyly squeeze under milk-white shower I sense she smell of coconut. We do not speak. We do not speak.

                                       HAMYTOE  RUGRAT

                          a  MONKEY / RUGRAT  production

Comments

@richardmasters 1d

I hope this is ok to say, but this, along with your other poems is very head bendy, in a very good way, of course. You manage to conjure language rather than write it - I read it, I start to make sense of things and then the river takes a turn in a direction I wasn't expecting.

@silentmonkey 23h

Of course tis okay. I have great respect for your honest responses and insight. "Conjurer" , "turning river" - lovely. Once called "the wizard of crap" by an audience member. Loved that too btw. !Ta RM anyhoo

@richardmasters 23h

The Wizard of crap sounds like the title of a Mel Brooks film 😁

@berni1954 1d

This has a real feel of an Oriental Poet. It is like some extended Haiku full of images that coalesce and confront, etc.

@silentmonkey 1d

A compliment indeed, Bernie. !Ta Interesting haiku ref. I experiment with "narrative haiku" - using/abusing the 17 beat idea and creating longer (narrative) pieces divided up into 17 beat 3-liners. (Note the skirmish-driven "Vision") HS might have been such.

@y6nh 1d

This is great, really vivid and dynamic. Kind of a hypnagogic shampoo ad / love song. I'd like to know more about your thought process, and what kind of music you would put it to.

@silentmonkey 1d

Hypnagogic shampoo ad mmmm lovely. Well, all I can say, perhaps is: "Invincible Hands ... meet! Heaven Shampoo"

Command Center

Heaven Shampoo

Lyrics

Comments

New to FAWM?

Who To Follow

Recent Discussions