FAWM: "Mask of Cheer"

Mask of Cheer

9 hours ago by @nwhosings

NSFW

Mask of Cheer

nwhosings

00:00

Liner Notes

#folk #acoustic #acousticonetake #improv #unmasking #neurodivergent #agender #queer #deconstructing My cheerfulness is the deepest part of my mask. To the point that I don't really know who I am without it. Having a cheerful attitude was my first compliance. There's a lot of xtianity woven in through this. The way I grew up, femininity was shown through cheerfulness. There was even a Twila Paris song called The Joy of the Lord Will be my Strength. I'm pretty sick with a cold, but I've been having some shit days at work and I just wanted to get this out. It's not polished to any degree, mostly found a space for the chorus to exist and improved from there. I like it though, I will work this up into a more cohesive thing.

Lyrics

darling girl, why do you look so sad darling girl, don't you look so mad Don't you know the joy of the lord? Make that your strength, yes, smile more

Every morning, put each piece of armour on again The breastplate of sunshine, the shield of smiles The sword of cheery disarming, how alarming I feel I've run for miles The spear, then the visor I've never been so tired Now begin, with energy The day the way they expect you to be

darling girl, why do you look so sad darling girl, don't you look so mad Don't you know the joy of the lord? Make that your strength, yes, smile more

My mask of cheer conceals my fear No one will love my shadows I'm so skilled at wearing it The moment I let slip I'm argued out of it But you're so cheerful! You're a constant source of joy This isn't you!

My filter's clogged My brain is fogged Who am I even now The mask of lies The compromise That I'm scared to live without But all the lights Are burning out

darling girl, why do you look so sad darling girl, don't you look so mad Don't you know the joy of the lord? Make that your strength, yes, smile more

Comments

@owling 7m

I love this, especially the way you use pieces of the armour to depict the mask of cheerfulness. It's very clever and very true. "The breastplate of sunshine" really hit me. I can imagine both the sunlight reflecting off the metal and the character's smile to get through the day.

@chill4matt 4h

Unpacking some of this... Can relate to the "yes, smile more," as my wife has talked about women and society and expectations et al.

@nwhosings 4h

There's a lot here. And it wouldn't surprise me if it's not relatable to all. It's many details of my experience, so I kind.of expect it to be niche. Thank you for engaging🙂

@alyxanderjames 7h

Oof, this is deeply relatable. This is a really skillful treatment of a tricky bit of trauma, I hope you do come back to it post-FAWM and keep working on it, it's worth it!

@nwhosings 4h

Thank you. I need to give it some space to breathe, I'm not sure how I feel about stacking so many ideas all into one song, but I'm also not sure how to tease them apart, they are braided together through my experiences