OK this is pretty silly one! And I take all the blame - I only asked Alissimon to help out with the female parts - which she very kindly did overnight. I hope it brings a smile to your face if nothing else.

Father Mathew called one Friday night He stayed for tea and checked out Billy’s bike He talked to Peter, challenged him a bit I sometimes feel that he’s a nasty…

[Mum’s voice] Peter can you do the washing up Karen have you practised clarinet Billy can you let Casandra out Things must be done to maintain this house

We’re not a sweary family We like to keep a sense of decorum round here We’re not a sweary family, no

Uncle Henry Came to see the kids An army life had left him expletive The day time drinking made him rather fat And after dinner he acted like a…

[Mum’s voice] Peter can you trim the bush my dear Karen have you read Corbusier Billy can you clean Casandra’s hutch There’s so much to do to stay in touch

We’re not a sweary family We like to keep a sense of decorum round here We’re not a sweary family, at all, no We’re not a sweary family We like to keep a sense of perspective round here We’re not a sweary family, no

Jane the lawyer came to draft our will After three hours we had had our fill The upsell tactics really rather blunt She left us feeling she was quite a…

[Mum’s voice] Peter can you lay a patio Karen have you mastered paint frescos Billy can you give Casandra’s jabs It’s really very hard to maintain this house CHROUS - 3x