#lofi #hiphop #heartbreak #angry #downtempo nahlej: guitar/bass/keys/drum sequencing/production D-Truth: lyrics/vocals

a longtime friend is staying with me for a minute. he's been going through it (i'll let him share if he chooses to) I snatched him up this morning and was like, "we're gonna make something" i threw this beat together while he wrote in the room and here it is. he's hurt, he's mad, he's working through. sometimes when we put pen to paper we can actually see what it is we're feeling. there is some lashing out here, some retaliation, some hard language...i told him not to censor himself. consider this a trigger warning, but also keep in mind what it feels like when your life is being pulled out from under you and your heart is breaking.

It’s so fucking hard letting you go But I now know deep down that it’s needed for growth I need control of my life Standing on my own 2 feet I’m finding my footing quit leaning on me I sacrificed everything Which depleted my energy In a dark cloud thunder struck Questioning sanity In a constant haze full of rage blessed are the heavenly Losing sight of my ways Going through the shit heavily I berated and belittled named called and lost tempers in way to protect my own ego Instead of just shutting the fuck up and learning to letting you go

I lose control sometimes don’t feel right in my mind Can’t trust my own thoughts Are they even really mine But I swallow that pride Till it builds up inside Just want to do this shit right Always got the kids on my mind But I’m overwhelmed as fuck So I push em aside And I lost fucking sight But there’s still room to shine Just have to breath and take my time Realize there’s no right or wrong It’s just life I know myself well enough to get through this alright

Not trying to play the victim I know the hurt that I’ve caused But it’s hard when I open up And you just brush this shit off I told you I had a porn problem And asked you for your help You laughed that shit off And said you’ll need to do that yourself Told you I wanted a meal when I get home from work You’re an unemployed at home mom and I’m the jerk? Is it sexist for me to want a women with a nurturing spirt Not one compromised by these feminist demons And I’m all for equal rights Bitch get a job I’ll take care of my kids I’m not scared of the mob Or the work But I’m scared to stay with you And that’s what truly hurts