Nicht Mehr Da

by @florian

Liner Notes

#guywithpiano #mourning #german

My grandmother died last November. Every day, I find things that remind me of her. Long-term appointments in calendars. Her number in my phone's address book. Old birthday cards. Sorry for the downer 😔 - this wanted out.

Lyrics

(V1)

Du stehst noch immer hier in mei'm Kalender jedes Jahr da tauchst du wieder auf

Dann frag ich mich wofür ich das so stehn lass freu mich wirklich nich so drauf

Denn du bist nicht mehr da bist längst gegangen wo ich dir noch nich folgen mag

Irgendwie war immer klar dass es so komm'n wird doch ich finds trotzdem ziemlich hart

(V2)

Find dich noch mittendrin in meinen Nummern zwischen andren, die ich brauch

Ich frag nich nach dem Sinn würde ich jetzt wählen würd niemand rangehn - wie denn auch?

Denn du bist nicht mehr da bist längst woanders ist noch viel Zeit bis ich dir folg

Irgendwie war immer klar dass es so komm'n muss doch ich habs wirklich nich gewollt

(V3)

Da liegt 'n altes Bild auf meinem Desktop hab längst gelöscht woher es kam

Ne Karte halb zerknüllt hinten im Schrank drin n alter Glückwunsch vor zehn Jahrn

Nun bist du nicht mehr da bist schon viel weiter du wolltest es am Schluss so ha'bn

War wohl immer klar dass es mal so sein wird will mich ehrlich nicht beklagen


(English version)

(V1)

You're still in here In my calendar Every year you're turning up again

Each time I ask myself Why do you leave it this way I'm not really looking forward to this

Because you're no longer here Have gone long ago To where I don't want to follow you, yet

Somehow it's always been clear That it would come to this But still I find it pretty hard

(V2)

Still find you in the middle of My numbers Between others that I still need

I don't ask for the reason Would I dial now Nobody would answer - how could you?

Because you are no longer here Been elsewhere all this time It will be a long time before I follow you

Somehow it's always been clear That it must come to this And still I didn't want it this way

(V3)

There's an old photo On my desktop Have long ago deleted where it came from

A card, half crumpled In the back of the wardrobe Old birthday wishes from ten years ago

Now you're no longer here You've moved on, far ahead At the end that's the way you wanted it

Seems it has always been clear That it would be this way Don't want to lament

Comments

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Das ist so berührend! Du erfasst die tiefen Dimensionen der Trauer und kleidest sie in ein maßgeschneidertes musikalisches Gewand.

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Beautiful song. Your voice is well paired with the piano. My German is rusty, but I'm still at a reading level where I can appreciate the way you expressed the imagery and your grief. What I really appreciate is the way each segment ends on this aspect of grief: that even if it was for the better, or anticipated, and something non-negotiable... losing someone hurts. Grief is an expression of love.

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❤️

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Such a poignant melody, and the sparse piano is beautiful. It’s not easy to write from the heart like this.

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Beautiful emotional song. Nice to be able to read the English translation. And sorry for your loss

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❤️

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PS it's never a downer to share your love for those who have left this Earthly love but who we still love. I wrote a song for my dad ages ago. I haven't brought myself to share it publicly because it's very hard for me. I actually wrote it while he was very much alive still, and I never really got around to showing him, which is a great regret, but I know they can hear us up there <3 Keep on sharing!

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Mein herzliches Beileid. It's a really gorgeous song, Florian. It's also got a big influence from the wonderful German soundtrack emo pop I love so much, and it's so emotional. A fitting tribute to someone you love a lot. Thanks for sharing with us.

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Lovely song--terrific vocal! (Thanks for providing the English translation!) ❤️

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So tender and heartfelt. Struck a chord with me. Beautifully sung.

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Ah mate. Sorry to hear - I lost my nana in January. Sounds like you guys were pretty close.

It's a well-recorded song - brave to put the vocal that up front, but the tone and performance makes it work.

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❤️

[FAWM]