FAWM: "On the Doorstep"

On the Doorstep

Lyrics

On the doorstep On the doorstep I am standing on the doorstep Of the school, it is 2:00, my son’s inside, it’s five degrees And I can hear the school buses, clear their rusty throats And I clear mine (whisper) I buzz the bell

I am waiting I am waiting As my Chevy Bolt is idling And my little heart is racing, til I hear a little crackle, a voice inside says “yes?” and I try and find my voice “I am Jack Hornby’s mother I am Jack Hornby’s mother

He needs a charging cable for his computer Can you help me? Can you help me?” And the silence it was airless Til the longest minute later when I hear the door crack open All I can see is a hand And it holds a paper bag

On the sidewalk On the sidewalk I am standing on the sidewalk Outside El Mercado, all the lights are dim I see a man inside, I wave at him awkwardly And show him my button With a prominent epithet

He cracks the door open I hand him a folded paper I see a few more folks inside, they look a lot like me He grabs a shopping cart and leads me to the produce aisle And starts to read aloud As he reaches for potatoes

Dos bolsas de patatas Dos paquetes de agua Un pollo Dos pepinos Una bolsa de naranjas I grab some Takis and a box little Debbies He piles them into paper bags And I hand him my card

I drive past the vacant storefronts Along the narrow streets and the piles of hardened snow

I see a SUV He isn’t here for me Unless I get between him and his work I think I am

On the doorstep On the doorstep I am standing on the doorstep Of a multifamily ranch house On the other side of town I see a girl inside, she smiles and waves at me There isn’t too much furniture I set the two bags down

But as I start to walk away, I see some tinfoil catch my eye With my name on a yellow post-it note I look both ways and pick it up And hustle to my car I pull back the foil to find A plate of empanadas

Comments

@greengrassgirl 2d

Wow. Great writing, particularly with the specific details. And I love the story, so heartfelt. Glad I found your page.

@yaquimike 4d

Beautiful song Aaron.

@eas3637 4d

Aaron, this story sucked me right in. I love the way it unfolds with such specific imagery - from the girl waving at the window to the scrap of tinfoil. The rhythm and repetition (on the doorstep, on the doorstep) adds yet another layer of urgency. I love how a song like this evokes empathy so much more than a song that tells me how to feel.

@philnorman 4d

You have such a gift for these story songs. There is power in the way neighbors have been quietly taking care of each other through the horrors, and power in the way you tell this story with that same knowing quiet. The lyric cadence rings a "Tom's Diner" bell that works perfectly to invite us into the song.

@tophertopher 5d

I really like your use of repetition in the lyrics. It created a nice lyrical rhythm. Very nice song!

@fabkebab 5d

I was pulled right in to your tale - Well done - great narrative storytelling! I was a bit worried there was going to be ICE at the doorstep in the end. Great Job! The only minor comment I would say - isnt a chevy Bolt electric? So it wouldnt idle in quite the same way as a car with a gas engine

@bethdesombre 6d

This is SO well spun out. You tell a big story in little moments (with such great specifics) and the music invokes the seriousness. What an unfortunately perfect song for this moment.

@nancyrostMod 1w

You should send this one to Kerrville.

@ductapeguyMod 1w

This is folk song as documentary. I have always said that the vocation of folksinger is to lend voice to those whose voices are not heard. I wish you did not have to write this. Beautifully done.

@freshspotlessyouth 1w

Wow, this is great. I love the welter of detail. You've painted all these little tableaux that come together to suggest something much darker. You had me with you at every step. Love the melody and the way you sing