An Unfortunate Occurrence at the Home Depot

by @newukenewyork

Skirmish: Window shopping (@nancyrost)

Liner Notes

FAWM 2026 / Song 11 Instrument: composite wood soprano ukulele tuned high GCEA

1-hour writing prompt: “window shopping”

I first wrote the lyrics, then commented: The structure of this will need some revision if I am to set it to music — the stanzas kept turning out different. Or maybe it will end up through-composed.

But when I sat down to write music for this I didn’t actually find it that hard even though the rhyme scheme and the stanza line length was slightly different in each section, and I even like the way it turned out. I think the simple silliness of the melody works well with the silliness of the lyrics.

#ukulele #singersongwriter #personwithukulele #girlwithukulele #acousticonetake #fuc #uke #acoustic #unreliablenarrators #silly

Lyrics

In my defense, Defenestration never was my goal I took myself out window-shopping, Tripped over a pole, And elbowed some poor rando hard And he went out the hole

Out the window Down he fell That’s the tale I have to tell

I’m glad it hadn’t been installed It wasn’t high or in a wall, Just propped there on the floor (window section, next to doors)

And open — he did not fall far He seemed more mad than hurt at all He got no glass in face or ass So far as I could see — Alas, I chose to swiftly flee

Out the window Down he fell That’s the tale I have to tell

Through the window In the store I just nudged him, nothing more

Yes, although I pushed him through I did not intend to do Such misdeeds this afternoon I went out to buy a window For this very room

And that is prob’ly why The police are in the drive

Out the window Down he fell That’s the tale I have to tell

Through the window In the store I just nudged him, nothing more

No broken glass, no pain, no gore All the rest Is lies and lore

Comments

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Hi, folks! Thanks for commenting on the lyrics-only version of "An Unfortunate Incident At the Home Depot." If you are curious about how I set it to music, there is now a video demo! @mizupics @greenrocks @oswlek @kosch @frey @madvikins @paul_pedersen @willow1 @robinleaf @robheron1

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@mizupics

This is awesome! Especially the end xD

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Thanks for checking out the lyrics!

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This is hilarious. Love the literal window shopping. Cut through the lies!

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Thanks so much! 🪟

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@oswlek

Ha! "In my defense" is a brilliant opening line. Plenty of LOL-worthy lines. Great write.

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Thanks so much!

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...I have questions 😆 Mixed stanzas can become multiple bridges, if needed... Good luck.

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Thanks for listening! This story lyric is one that just popped out. May take some finagling to answer the questions for myself and listeners! 😉

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@frey

This cracked me up!! Just the title & those first two lines alone could make for a very funny short poem

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I have kind of been wondering if this isn’t a poem, not a song. We shall see!

Thanks for letting me know it tickled you.

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Love this! I see your imagery.

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Thanks so much for reading along!

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Ah, lies and lore. Well you had me believing until the end. Good story telling, for sure.

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I’m glad you commented because I see my meaning didn’t come through — I meant the narrator to be saying any rumors around town or what the cops were saying that might make this a window-smashing violent incident were untrue. Though they might be an unreliable narrator. I’m not sure.

Thanks for reading and commenting!

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You had me at defenestration. Respect!

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Sometimes the muse is awake. ;) First thing I thought of, paired with taking “window shopping” literally. Thanks!

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This is freaking epic and I'm crying a little bit. I love this story so much and please let me know when it has music. Brilliant. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Thanks so much! It’s a puzzler to me but I hope will get done before March!

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Good one. I kinda think this actually happen to you. It's one of those "too weird to be fiction" things. So let us know...truth or fiction? Lovely structure! Bend the melody to fit.

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Thanks for the encouragement. It is 100% fictional, and my question is whether the narrator of the song is even telling the whole truth!

[FAWM]