From the #musical I am categorically NOT writing, although I will thank the Lord for this weekly challenge, as it finally gave me the impetus to write this song out, after having the #lyrics for the first verse in my head since about the age of eight.

I have no idea what this is abut, by the way, or even what the fanbadozy thing is. It says "crime caper set in 1900s America" to me, but I'm not entirely sure regular villagers in small-town USA would regularly sing and dance.

"Fanbadozy" starts with the same first three letters as "Fantastic", so...

Incidentally, this has a tune and countermelodies and everything. I can't record t because, y'know, can't play an instrument... can't hold a note right now... but I promise there is one...

HANK: Are you absolutely sure? LOUIE: Sure I'm sure. I've got all the evidence. You just need to tell all the people. HANK: Me? Why me? JOHN: You're the best at talkin'. HANK: I guess... LOUIE: C'mon...

[Singing.]

HANK: That's great, that's fine, that's fanbadozy That's the best news I've ever heard That's great, that's fine, that's fanbadozy That's the best news - I'll go spread the word That's great, that's fine, that's fanbadozy That's the best news ever. Whoopee!

LOUIE & JOHN: Whoopee!

HANK: That's great, that's fine, that's fanbadozy Now sit here and wait for me...

[CUT TO: The high street in the middle of town. VILLAGERS are around going about their business. They sing together as a CHORUS.]

CHORUS: Humdrum Our life is humdrum Dum dee dum We're in the doldrums

[HANK enters and stirs up some attention. He selects a VILLAGER from the crowd and goes over to her.]

HANK: It's great, it's fine, it's...

[HANK whispers into the VILLAGER'S ear. There is a pause, then...]

VILLAGER: Whoo!

[She faints happily on the ground. HANK continues his song; with every exultation of the word "fanbadozy" he taps a VILLAGER on the shoulder, each of whom goes "whoo!" and faints.]

HANK: ...fanbadozy It's the best news you've ever heard It's great, it's fine, it's fanbadozy It's the best news, so go spread the word It's great, it's fine, it's fanbadozy It's the best news ever. Whoopee!

CHORUS: Whoopee!

It's great, it's fine, it's fanbadozy Now go tell the world for me...

[Fallen VILLAGERS rouse themselves. HANK climbs a pile of crates against a wall and stands atop them. He pulls a wooden stick from the pile and brandishes it at the crowd, pointing them out.]

HANK: Are you ready? CHORUS: Fanbadozy! HANK: Do you hear me? CHORUS: Fanbadozy! Fanbadozy! HANK: Who's with me? CHORUS: Fanbadozy! Fanbadozy! Fanbadozy! HANK: Wait! CHORUS: What? HANK: Wait! CHORUS: What? HANK: Wait! CHORUS: What? HANK: Wait!

[Pause.]

LOUIE: [spoken] What?

[CUT TO: LOUIE and JOHN in a corner of the street, almost unseen by the CROWD. HANK heard him, though.]

HANK: One! More! Time!

ALL: That's great, that's fine, that's fanbadozy That's the best news we've ever heard That's great, that's fine, that's fanbadozy That's the best news - we'll go spread the word That's great, that's fine, that's fanbadozy That's the best news ever. Whoopee!

HANK, LOUIE & JOHN: Whoopee!

ALL: It's great, it's fine, it's fanbadozy HANK: Now go tell the world for me...

[VILLAGERS disperse, full of glee about what they have just heard. The high street is lit up into brighter colours now.]

LOUIE: [spoken] Amazing! JOHN: [spoken] I knew you could do it! LOUIE: [spoken] Now let's get back to headquarters! There's a pizza with my name on it! [Exits.] JOHN: [spoken] They can do that? [Exits.]

[HANK, left alone, looks directly to CAMERA.]

HANK: Fanbadozy!