FAWM: "Discount Dracula"

Discount Dracula

Liner Notes

Day Two - Boxing Day. Features a drum sample from Sleaford Mods' 'Megaton'.

Confession time: I stole the 'g*nitals/Janitor' non-rhyme from Suburban Lawns. The rest just riffed backwards from that.

For the non-UK listener, the Boxing Day Sales are a unique cultural signifier, I guess the closest equivalent I can think of is Black Friday.

I really like this one. It just felt natural. You may disagree :) If anyone mentions Devo, they're getting blocked :)

Lyrics

All the Discount Draculas Pouring out their motor cars Like red ketchup out the jar Slow dollop of vouchers Spent straight away (hey hey)

All the Discount Draculas Running to the shopping mall Tearing through the Poundland halls First thing on Boxing Day Sales are underway (hey hey)

Reach into your wallet now* Empty out your wallet

Shopping centre hired a team, Workers happy to steam clean Seam of Endless Crap, it seems; All the greed that’s left Behind, out the way (hey hey)

But I can see the Janitor Hole in his overalls I can see his genitals Really doesn't cover all It Should -or so they say. (hey hey)

“I can see his flesh Wallet Sticking out of his pocket!”

Bargain hunters get defanged That can't be a human man Once its seen, can't be unseen Its unwanted, just obscene

I ccked up singing this, I realise afterwards; its meant to be "pocket" not "wallet" twice Ah, well. I'll fix it at some point.

Comments

@helenseviltwinMod 1w

Brill, boppy, punky fun song!

@brewkulele 1w

I’ll jump in with the 80s nostalgic comments. Reminds me of Warm Leatherette. Great work!

@johnnycashpoint 1w

Thanks! Which WL are you referring to, the Normal original or the Grace Jones cover? Either is more than acceptable (!) but it doesnt sound like Grace Jones to me, and The Normal was actually 70s I think, so ... (sorry just being a nerd about dates rather than taking the compliment, which is what I should have done!) j$

@brewkulele 1w

Gotcha, the Normal one. I didn't realize that was from the 70s. I didn't hear it until the 80s.

@fuzzy 1w

I am getting some early 80s post-punk vibes here. Which is always a good thing. Yeah, we have Boxing Day sales here in Canada, too. Of course, I avoid them like the plague. Love that ending. I can say that this is probably the first song written about Boxing Day sales, so well done there!