FAWM: "Outlined in Stone"

Outlined in Stone

Skirmish: Crossing the River by Fee... (@dudachris)

There is no demo for this song.

Liner Notes

#skirmish #rock #needsmusic #lyricsonly #country #guitar

Lyrics

[Verse 1] A river with no bridge, separates us You chose that side, you didn’t discuss I reach for you, and call out your name You turn away, and say I’m to blame [Chorus] I need you, how do I get across You bent down, caressing moss I see the path, outlined in stone Please don’t leave, I can’t be alone Love ain’t safe, it’s an undertow Making my way, feeling the water flow If I drown, at least I tried I always wanted you, by my side Yeah…I always wanted you, by my side [Verse 2] I’m coming, keep your eyes on me What did I do, I thought we were meant to be I fall, I bruise, with every stone I touch I’m telling you, I love you so much [Chorus] I need you, how do I get across You bent down, caressing moss I see the path, outlined in stone Please don’t leave, I can’t be alone Love ain’t safe, it’s an undertow Making my way, feeling the water flow If I drown, at least I tried I always wanted you, by my side Yeah…I always wanted you, by my side [Verse 3] The river and these stones, won’t slow me down Even if you’re waiting, watching, for me to drown Our love has never been, on solid ground You’re my soul mate, the best love I’ve found [Pre Chorus] Trusting these rocks, I’ve never known When I get to you, my fate is unknown But… [Chorus] I need you, how do I get across You bent down, caressing moss I see the path, outlined in stone Please don’t leave, I can’t be alone Love ain’t safe, it’s an undertow Making my way, feeling the water flow If I drown, at least I tried I always wanted you, by my side Yeah…I always wanted you, by my side If I drown, at least I tried I always wanted you, by my side…

Comments

@linl77 3d

Again, your lyrics are so vividly powerful to paint the word picture of this person's pain of following an unrequited Love. Beautifully written!

@casijohnson 3d

Again...thank you for taking the time to share your insight around my lyrics! I appreciate the feedback!

@dudachris 4d

Ooh the weight of romance is accurately and artfully captured here. For you I hope the water soothes, cools and mends rather than drowns 🙂

@casijohnson 3d

I so appreciate the kind words about the song! I think we all hope we don't have those drowning moments in our relationships. :)

@oswlek 5d

There are a lot of gems in this lyric. "Outlined in stone" is a great title and a great line when paired with "I see the path". My favorite is "if I drown at least I tried". I like I so much that, if this were my lyric, I would build it around that one. Probably drop the final lines of the chorus and just repeat that.

Frankly, you might have two song ideas here. To me, the moss, path and stone are one set and the undertow, flowing water and drown are another. The chorus might be a little overstuffed trying to get all of that in. And I may be missing something, but is there a path under the water? Or does the path just lead to the water? The former is a little odd and the later doesn't seem important enough to be the title. Not when the water itself is the source of the danger and the divide.

Given the opening images, focusing the chorus more on the water might be worthwhile. Then "if I drown, at least I tried" will be an even bigger punch in the gut.

Sorry for the rambling thoughts. I really like a lot of the pieces on here and wanted to offer more than just an attaboy. 😄

@casijohnson 3d

I do appreciate all the constructive feedback. I'm very new with writing lyrics, so the things you have outlined about almost having two songs or changing the song title is great! The only way I will grow and expand my experience and knowledge is to keep embracing the education around me. Thank you!