FAWM: "And They'll Know that We Are Christians "

And They'll Know that We Are Christians

NSFW

Liner Notes

This song came to me yesterday in the shower, pretty much fully formed. I guess I have a bone to pick with religious hypocrites (see my FAWM 2025 song about all the things that Jesus didn't f#@^ing say). Little known fact: my 7th grade religion teacher told me that I was going to be the Pope when I grew up. Unfortunately, I had read too much about all the "love thy neighbor" stuff, so I wasn't qualified! (Plus, I heard the Pope wasn't allowed to date girls...little did I know, though that's a different story about hypocrisy!)

Anyway, here's a little ukulele ditty inspired by the old hymn that says "And they'll know that we are Christians by our love." I don't see a lot of love coming from many so-called Christians these days, so I switched things around a bit.

PS - Having worked on assessments of writing for many years, I do know that the proper usage would be "whom" because it's the direct object of the verb "hate," but that wouldn't have sounded right in the song!

#fuc #acousticonetake

Lyrics

Chorus And they'll know that we are Christians because of who we hate Because of who we hate, because of who we hate. So we'll tell you who to hate today.

Verse 1 From the pulpit, we will tell you to hate the "they's" and gays And anyone who doesn't fuck the way we say. Just don't look too closely at our Grindr accounts, 'Cuz we're for "family values" each and every day, So long as we don't have to support them in any way.

Chorus And they'll know that we are Christians because of who we hate Because of who we hate, because of who we hate. So we'll tell you who to hate today.

Verse 2 For the past 2,000 years, we've said to hate the Jews 'Cuz we claim they killed our savior and our lord. We've taught pogrom and genocide, and inspired the holocaust And gotten tons of angry people on board With doing deeds that should be abhorred.

Chorus And they'll know that we are Christians because of who we hate Because of who we hate, because of who we hate. So we'll tell you who to hate today.

Verse 3 And now you hear us telling you to hate the immigrant, who only came here to steal your job. We'll say that he's a rapist and an addict and a thug, Whose only goal in life is to kill and rob. So we rile you up into a rabid mob.

Chorus And they'll know that we are Christians because of who we hate Because of who we hate, because of who we hate. So we'll tell you who to hate today.

Bridge (Spoken) What do you mean Jesus said to love your neighbor? Didn't he mean only if your neighbor is white? What do you mean Jesus said to give away our money And help the poor? No, that can't be right! That's not the Jesus we want you to follow. We're gonna have to teach you to hate that guy too!

Chorus And they'll know that we are Christians because of who we hate Because of who we hate, because of who we hate. And they'll know that we are Christians because of who we hate. So we'll tell you who to hate today.

Comments

@jodidamon 5d

Another zinger! Love the bridge exposing the ultimate hypocrisy. If they truly understood who Jesus was , they’d hate him too. I’ve only just discovered you and your songs but I feel better knowing you (and your ukulele) are out there bending ears and sparking thought

@ambroise 5d

I love me a nice little ukulele ditty on moral inconsistency! 3 verses only, but it could have 663 more. Joyfull music was the right way to adress such a ridiculous way of thinking with such dreadfull consequences. And humor. It's right to expose hypocrisy, but it's fun too. I feel like "we'll tell you who to hate today" is the most profound line. Because this is the way to control peoples' mind.

@florian 6d

🤣 Oh, no, wait, it's actually true: 😢

@daveescoffery 6d

Wow, that is 100% the response I hope people will have. Thank you!

@danieldeshon 6d

This is powerful. That bridge is stunning. I also like that if I don't listen to the lyrics, it sounds like just a happy little ditty! -Clever.

@daveescoffery 6d

Thanks! I hope that the “happy little ditty” nature of it helps the message land a bit harder!

@caitlin 1w

Dave, you pull no punches in this song, and I'm here for it! Truth so sharp it cuts you right at the jugular.

P.S. As your wife, I'm super grateful you did not become the Pope. P.P.S. As a grammar nerd (snob), I'm also grateful you put the disclaimer about the proper use of "whom".

@troubadette 1w

The bridge. The bridge.

This whole song is full of absolutely zingers and very cuts cleanly to the point. Great delivery and arrangement, too!

I've got lots of Big Complicated Emotions about religion in general but I'm still a big fan of Actual Canon Jesus, who would be out there pissing off a LOT of people.

@daveescoffery 1w

So true! Actual Canon Jesus is pretty fucking cool. It's too bad nobody seems to want to do what he suggested...!

@funnypunkband 1w

Love the cool descending chords in the verses. The delivery on “so we’ll tell you who to hate - today” is really effective. Sharp, biting, and right on point, as usual.

@daveescoffery 1w

C to C7 to F on a ukulele just has a great sound!