Song #4 from “Yuge, the Musical”, words and music are by Mike Delaney (http://www.mikedelaney.org/default.asp). The Libretto for the musical as it stands now is here: http://www.mikedelaney.org/yuge.html My YouTube channel and Facebook page are @FolkMikeDelaney.

This musical is a re-telling of Charles Dickens’ Christmas Carol. The main character is President Yuge, and the rest of the characters are his staff, family, and acquaintances. The musical was written at the end of 2025 and the beginning of 2026.

The songs in the musical were performed at the Catbird Café virtual Open Mike, hosted by Stephen Martin and Kathe Donlan. The Catbird Open Mike is sponsored by the New England Wildlife Center (www.newildlife.org).

Narrator: Leave It looks out from the Press Briefing room to see what was the Rose Garden, before Yuge had it paved over, and she sees Missy Garden Gnome look ing menacing at a German Shepard.

Hey, this used to be the Rose Garden The new pavement is so smooth I have to hunt down that German Shepard That’s something Sleepy Joe wouldn’t do

The dog has been chasing the staff All across the White House grounds Snarling and barking and jumping A terror to all around

Chorus: I’m Missy Garden Gnome Wanna take me home? If your puppy misbehaves I’ll put him under the loam If you have a problem pet I’ll put him down, you bet I can take care of goats, too If need be,… I’ll take care of you

The dog has even gone after Yuge Trying to get him to leave Trying to chase him away Trying to give him the heave

I guess it’s a Democrat dog I didn’t even know that could be The dog needs to go I’m so tough, that’s what they’ll see

Chorus

Bridge: Doggie, Get off of my back Doggie, don’t mess up my hair Doggie, not my lips They are such a plump pair

I didn’t see you coming You turned my makeup to gook You chewed up my perfect lips You’ve ruined/messed up my perfect look

Final Chorus: I’m Missy Garden Gnome I’m hiding in my home That dog did me in Made his mark on my skin So now I’m hiding out As I shamelessly pout I will not let you see That the dog did a number on me

Tag: I’m Missy Garden Gnome Does anyone have a comb?