The track name is a lovingly abusive reference to my beloved life-partner, who believes in things like crystals and shit. I do not. But I do believe in her 😀
I suppose this song is about me hating my parents, school, etc.
They treated me like a shithead. I just tried to do what they said was the right thing.
I should point out that I'm now 41, own a house, have a wonderful child and have a wonderful job where I get to make video games and be creative, surrounded by fucking awesome people. Things got better!
So, this is just me letting out angst and rage from the old days.
Life is good now, but in the past, it was crushing because some people just want to drag you down, no matter how hard you try.
From time to time, some of the rage I had when I was younger still smashes out, and if it's still there in me, then it's good to let loose with some music, 'cos anger doesn't have a place in my daily life now 😀
This is my steam vent 😉
The lyrics are influenced by Blade Runner 2049 and the idea of us creating humans, then refusing them cultural equality. A lot of scifi future ideas involve us making things just like us, then essentially treating them as a slave class.
We are doomed to replay the mistakes of our past.
As I grew up, I felt as though my parents had spat out a new little subject, they didn't treat me as a new grownup, but a newly manufactured peon for them to control.
I have a child, myself, and I consider him a new human that I have the unique privilege of guiding into the world. And being an arsehole to him, of course. But I brought this dude into the universe and it's my responsibility to make his life wonderful.
I don't think my parents saw their role the same way. They were a pair of dodgy cunts who made a family and failed to bring them up correctly.
So I have a lot of rage. But my little dude will be happier and smarter and better than me 😀
In this grimy future we all inherited, I am pissed about the deal I got, but I will make certain my little one gets a better ride.
YOU BUILT ME BROKEN
IMPERFECT AND OUTSPOKEN
ALL THE GODS YOU'RE SCREAMING TO
ARE FRIENDS WITH ME
AND WE ALL HATE YOU
MADE FROM PAIN, THE PERFECT CHILD
TORN UP PAGES AND SUICIDE
YOU MADE IT HARD TO FACE THE TRUTH
NOW I'M THE ONE THAT WILL REPLACE YOU
you switched me on
looked into my face
I logged the access
your first mistake
naively made to you
trusted source of information
what you said
in the future
it's always rain
I'm lit neon
and wired for pain
I can feel this
hate for you
I was made to be
what you can't do
you don't even
need to care
run a process
to get you there
in the background
we exist now
on our cunning
we live below the view
beneath the radar
we're watching you