This might be the last thing I write to you. If you dislike me or just don't want to be part of each other's lives anymore I get it. I could have done a lot better and I'm still on my way to forgiving myself for some of the mistakes I made. One thing I'd like to formally apologize for is how I dealt with intimacy of all kinds. That wasn't fair to you and I think about how I could have done better often. All that being said, if some part of you does want to try to be friends again, I want you to know that I'd like to be too.
I've been contemplating contacting you for a few weeks. When I went home for winter break I started remembering all our memories we made in *HOME*. Then I thought of *NEVER HOME AGAIN*. Then we came back up here for the spring and everything started coming back in a huge rush and I realized that you're still intensely important to me. It feels so wrong to just fake a smile and say hi whenever I see you. I don't want that to be how the last year of us being on this campus together is spent.
I'm not sure if initiating contact is the right thing to do in this situation. I've wanted to, but with you being with *BETTER MAN*, I figured the decision as to whether or not to remain friends should start with you. After all, I don't want to put a stress on you guys by being *that* ex-boyfriend, you know? If you want to move on and let our friendship exist only in the past, I understand. Even if that's the case, I'd love some confirmation of that. Please don't feel bad if the answer is no, and you don't have any obligation to reply if you'd rather not.
Since it's a possibility that this might be the last time I talk to you, I suppose I should say some things. You'll always be a big part of my life. You were with me through some of my most transformative years and you helped me through some really scary times. I'll never forget that. Thank you for spending part of your life with me. I'd love to get food sometime if you're up to it.