Okay this kind of sums up how my FAWM's are going for the last two years.
I used to enjoy the pressure and the deadlines of FAWM and until two years ago I embraced them as a welcome incentive to get the job done.
Music is my life and what better than force yourself just a bit more in February to achieve something that just doesn't happen the rest of the year due to other commitments.
But this is what happened, the 10th of February 2019 my wife died after a short illness (I'm probably sharing this because I need to get this off my chest and "what happens in FAWM stays in FAWM' right?).
Since then motivation and energy have been lacking and I find the pressure that comes with FAWM suddenly very daunting. I have found out (last year and this year too) that I'm unable to get anything done before the 10th of Feb. and I need a few days after that to recover some more. And then somehow I still want to dig in and get to 14, I know it's not required as per se but that is my personal challenge.
But now because I only have half the time the pressure rises to a point where I'm not happy at all with what I'm doing and only get more frustrated.
So FAWM hasn't been a happy place for me the last few years.
Come today I learned a valuable lesson, I thought "F%^&k it" , if I'm not going to make it to 14 I'm at peace with that, I'm just going to play around with some samples and see what happens. I'm more of a traditional writer so I hardly ever do that and to my surprise I got something going very quickly and now have a song consisting half out of samples and half played by me.
But most importantly I had fun again.
So my goal for next year is to try and be nicer to myself or maybe just don't give a F!@#k, that might result in getting more done and I might be happier doing it.
Kind of a life lesson I guess, something that I in fact already knew (and you too I suspect) but sometimes I need reminding.
So to sum it up, I'm a bit happier today and after finishing number 13 I'm now off writing number 14 in a more traditional way again maybe?
Long story, thanks for bearing with me.
I will need to make a change (wow, shortest lyrics I ever wrote)