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What's the opposite of 'Favourite'? 'Unfavourite', maybe? This is that.
Spent too long on it to just ditch it, which is what I would do if non-FAWM standards were in play. A nice idea, badly executed and realised. I had in mind a Thin White Rope-esque walking guitar bassline, with a rambling story about puppets and deserts. But I ended up with this. I don't hate it, but I don't like it either. The best decision was chopping out over a minute of extra verse and chorus. No-one needed a longer version of this.
It hangs in the air, it sits on our shoes
No-one here is safe without booze
No-one here is safe
He doesn’t look well, relieved to be here
Bewildered by his role in our fear
Bewildered by his role
Hold my old, withered claw and tell me I’m wrong
It was eerie enough when it happened before
The way he sung his song sounded wrong
The song sounded wrong
Hold my old, withered claw and tell me I’m wrong
@ferry0123 3 days
Well, I listenend to the song, then read your liner notes and I kind of understood what you meant.
To me, that 'Hold my old, withered claw and tell me I’m wrong' part is an absolute winner, though.
It would be worth a rework for sure, keeping the best what's (the production is very good to me, maybe the snare bangs a little too loud) happening here and you got yourself a great ominous song.
@ustaknow 4 days
Taking it as a demo, - it's a great track to redo. I get what you're saying. And understand you see every pulled "stitch" 😀 - but great demo. Sound, lyric, orchestration and shortened length, unless bridging over to a new town 😀 to see.
@brisk 1 week
I think I like this more than you do - like the atmosphere the guitar brings. Like the weirdness of the chorus (reminds me of the not-Hammer-Horror-but-very-Hammer-Horror Blood on Satan's Claw because I'm unimaginative). Having read that it might be the drums that are working against the general mood I believe that but I don't think I would have pinpointed that if I hadn't read other people's comments. It is a good one. Those words are really quite creepy, in a good way.
@conorg 1 week
Unsettling but in a good way! I think the clash between the straight ahead drums and the guitar swing is part of what makes it unusual and interesting.
@wazylizard 1 week
I like the low tone of the verses, it enhances the slightly dark vibe of the guitars.
As the other said, what makes it feel a bit out of balance it the drum, that does not seem to be supporting the riff, but conflicts a bit with it. And with this slightly amended, I see space for a longer instrumental section.
As you rightly put it, it's a great idea, and I'm sure that you'll manage to get it out the way you want!
If you want to, I'm up for a collab' on this, there are few days left. Poke me through email it sounds relevant to you!
@felixfelix 1 week
Wow I really like the low vocals in the beginning.
@fuzzy 1 week
I actually like this.
It slinks along nicely.
The understated vocals are somehow a bit menacing.
Really nice lyrics, especially the "withered claw" bit.
I agree with the other comments; there is loads of potential here for sure.
Well done.
@davidtaro 1 week
This is potentially a barnstorming song! I think the only thing holding it back is the drum pattern, which feels maybe too straight 4/4 where it could have a bit more swing to sync a bit closer to that guitar line? Dare I say it, the sort of beat you’d find in a Kasabian song or the like. As @ayehahmur suggests, I’d definitely come back to this one post-FAWM. The world needs more songs about puppets and deserts!
@ayehahmur 1 week
I think your instincts are spot on with this one. It's got a load of potential. Those lyrics are brilliant. I don't know what they mean but I'd take great pleasure yelling them back at you at a gig. The idea for a rolling jangly guitar is spot on too, and the vocal melody really works. I think it's worth going back to after FAWM and seeing what you can do with it (maybe a simpler drum track with booming kick and rumbling toms???)