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Feb 6 ss020521j skirmish superskirmish emo biab
Somehow this turned into a 2 hour skirmish for me. When I saw the prompt, I thought 80s minor chord synthpop. So I selected a sad key in autochords dot com, chose a struxxure with the fawm muse tools, then plugged this into band in a box. About an hour in, I realized I did not like the song very much. I did not felt like I'd said all I wanted to say in the first 2 verses, so I tried to play an ethereal guitar solo.
C'est la vie. Fawm and move on.
Dance with Sorrow
(c) Sean McGaughey February 6, 2021
Chorus
When you dance with sorrow
your eyes are always closed
You try not to trod
On other dancer’s toes
But nobody knows.
Verse 1
Just when you thought you’d learned the steps they change them
Still You hold on to the patterns that you learned yesterday
It’s not like anybody is watching anyway
Are They?
Chorus
Verse 2
Maybe life’s great metaphor, isn’t a dance
People sleepwalking through day, swirling like ants
Paths crossing only by happenstance
Is anyone there?
Bridge
They say we’re together all in the same boat
But you’re all adrift alone in the raging storm
Instrumental:
Chorus
@kathym Feb 8
Sometimes I spend time on a song that I start and then finish it up enough to end it and move on. You have no apologies to make for this song, but if it doesn't call you to coddle it, then it's understandable to want to move on. The music is pretty and I get the idea of where you were hoping to take it. Good effort and I give you credit for staying with it and posting it. Plus, it's one more step to the finish line.
@mardeycranbleson Feb 8
I like the tone and phrasing on the solo, sounds like someone talking! Yeah I've done a few skirmishes I didn't care for, I think two I didn't even bother to post and as you say, moved on
@sunnymae Feb 8
Wow...great couplet for your opening. So many great lines in this write. for that alone, this was a great write. I like the synth/guitar towards the end a lot. It added a great effect to the overall mood in the arrangement. Great skirmish!
@adnama17 Feb 8
I love these lyrics! It's really hard to avoid people when your eyes are closed. Sorrow is selfish in a way, or people can make it so I suppose. Never thought of it that way. The 80s vibe really fits somehow. <3
@tomslatter Feb 7
'I thought I'd run out of stuff so I tried a guitar solo' <- this is what I do with literally every song I write 😀
Great song, I like the chorus and the ethereal solo is lovely.
@thedutchwidows Feb 7
It's got a nice feel to it, and that guitar solo is super - really melodic bu nor over-powering.
@kissinginpublic Feb 7
I like the ‘happenstance’ lyric and the bridge particularly. Some good stuff in this definitely so don’t be too harsh on it. I’m sure you could build this out later to get it closer to where you want. Could work with a bit more of a thumping beat behind it.
@berni1954 Feb 7
Some great lines in this Sean. It works as synth pop song and yet, if the dancers were to concentrate on the lyrics they'd probably quit the dancefloor and drown their sorrows at the bar. I think this would work wonderfully in a guitar and singer-songwriter style. Same chords, same melody, but with people really listening to the lyrics, which are great.
@moonraccoon Feb 7
The chords and vocals make a great, sombre foundation. Are the drums and arpeggios maybe a bit busy and upbeat? I wonder what a more low-key accompaniment might sound like.
@jmcdaid Feb 7
This works really well in the synthpop groove. "When you dance with sorrow/your eyes are always closed" is a killer line. And I love the triple rhyme scheme of the verses.
@tuneslayer Feb 7
Sometimes it's quantity over quality. That said, there's a good song there. I encourage you to keep working on it.
Interesting effect in the instrumental. I need to learn how to do things like that.
@cindyrella Feb 6
Gosh that chorus! Great skirmish!
@musicsongwriter Feb 6
Beautiful iyrics and music. Very cool skirmish song.
@scubed Feb 6
The opening lines are so evocative! You have some strong imagery here - “Just when you thought you’d learned the steps they change,” “People sleepwalking through day, swirling like ants.” Nice skirmishing!