If I don't post this I won't have it up on Valentine's Day. Genuinely rather than figuratively acoustic-one-take, using my daughter's £5 guitar.
The inspiration for this is Fawmer and singer-songwriter @mariekevinkmusic . Early on this February I saw a comment she wrote and thought (genuinely) that it was from a duo called Marie and Kevin K.
So, apologies to Marieke, but why don't bands and duos post on FAWM? Has anyone else wondered?
This is the story of Marie and Kevin K
And may it be a lesson to us all
It started high above us on Valentine’s Day
And ended over Niagara Falls
Now Marie was Canadian and Kevin was a Yankee
And both of them were veterans of the stage
From Victoria to Ottawa, Miami to Milwaukee
And everywhere in between they each had played
They may have met in passing like ships in the night
As actors waiting in the wings
But one day was different, it was love at first sight
Their eyes met, and so we must begin.
It was Valentine’s Day as I’ve already stressed
Six miles over Hudson Bay
A glass of wine spilled by an airline stewardess
All over Marie and Kevin K
Marie stood up and loudly did yell:
“See the stain on this thousand-dollar dress?”
Kevin K whispered quietly: “I can tell
You’re an actress,” and Marie whispered “Yes.
I’ve been performing for the people of the UK
Ireland and (for one week only) France.”
Kevin K said: “Me too - well, you don’t say.
Things like this don’t just happen by chance.
Look at what they’ve done! They’re a danger to us all,
The stewards and the pilot of this plane!
As soon as we land, I’m bound to make a call
To my lawyer who will boldly make a claim.”
“There’s no need for that,” said the chief stewardess,
“Here’s a thousand from the tin of petty cash.”
“Make it five,” said Kevin K, “and I’ll do my best
Not to sue this airline’s corporate ass.
Marie said: “You’re my kind of man, dear.
Well spoken but morally blank.
And as soon as this aeroplane lands, we’re
Ideally placed to go and rob a bank.
I’ll play the screaming hostage
While you hold a gun to my head
I guarantee the bank tellers won’t have the courage
To just let you shoot me down dead
And so in the First American Bank Of Missouri
They tried out Marie’s cunning trick
The teller handed over a bag of used twenties
They made their getaway and made it quick
They looted every bank in Kansas and Nebraska
Then counted out the money every night
Kevin kissed Marie, then knelt down to ask her:
“Darling, would you like to be my bride?”
Marie said: “I’m going to have to make a confession.
You’re not the first who’s asked me to wed.
To be honest I’ve got husbands in almost every nation.”
So don’t marry me, just come to bed.”
Kevin K turned away and forced back a teardrop
He wasn’t used to being told “No”.
Marie said: ‘What’s the matter?” You could have heard a pin drop
And Kevin K got up to go.
“Not so fast, Kevin K!” said Marie with a grin
Your trouble is, you’re always in a hurry
Let’s go to Las Vegas, I’m sure we’re gonna win
And then maybe we could still get married.
So they drove off to Nevada in a stolen Chevrolet
And bought a hundred thousand worth of chips
They lost them playing poker, pontoon and piquet
But caught sight of Elvis on the strip
They headed to the airport with the last of the money
Buffalo was the first flight out of town
And when they got to Buffalo, Marie said: “Kevin, honey,
Canada’s just here, I’m going home.”
“I’ll walk you to the border,” said Kevin to Marie
And I’ll kiss you one last time at the frontier
We’ll perform the greatest farewell anyone could ever see
Everyone around will shed a tear
Fifty years later, Marie and Kevin K
Are living in the suburbs of Niagara
The story didn’t end, it didn’t happen that way
They’re living on pink gin and viagra
And when they’re not acting, they still go out thieving
It surely brings a tear to the eye
Holding up a garage gives them something to believe in
Now Marie’s other husbands have all died.
I’m done with this story, my throat is getting sore
I’d like to thank you all for your time
If you want to hear some more, I’ll open it to the floor
Try to make it make sense and also rhyme.