Mental Health Support Group

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  • @frenchcricket  Feb 6

    Trigger Warning: Depression, Self-Harm

    Please can we support each other. FAWM is a friendly place for outsiders and what not, I bet there's a few mental health sufferers amongst us.

    I'm on one today because I've run out of my meds due to a supplier problem. Friends, I'm spiralling quite a lot. Actually was close to self-harm this morning.

  • @alyxanderjames  Feb 6

    @frenchcricket That's hard, and I'm sorry you're in that position right now. Do you find writing helps when you're in a spiral, at least?

  • @frenchcricket  Feb 6

    If I can will myself to do it

  • @godsmonkey  Feb 6

    I'm sorry if our earlier debate caused any of this. My last desire is to see anyone distraught. Will a virtual hug over FAWM help?

    Here's hoping you get your supplier problem. sorted STAT

  • @guatecoop  Feb 6

    Hey there @frenchcricket im sorry to hear that things are tough for you right now. Do you have a safety plan for when the usual strategies donโ€™t work or when something is more serious? If not, you may want to go to an actual physical place where you feel more safe. Seems like online support can be helpful, but isnโ€™t always the most effective for all situations. Best wishes to you!

  • @frenchcricket  Feb 6

    @godsmonkey no it wasn't you I promise

  • @godsmonkey  Feb 6

    Here in the States there is a phone help service, 211, where you can talk to an emergency crisis councilor. Is there a similar service in GB? while I'm sure everyone here is well intentioned, the internet is a bit cold.

  • @godsmonkey  Feb 6

    @frenchcricket Good to know.

    virtual hug offer still open.

  • @fuzzy  Feb 6

    I'm sending all good energy your way.
    I hate to see anyone in distress.
    I know what it's like.

  • @pearlmanhattan  Feb 6

    Recently formally diagnosed with CPTSD and all that comes with that Complex part - waiting to get a medication evaluation in a few weeks, so I understand the white-knuckle ride of not having meds when you need them. Hugs to you and to all who are going through stuff. You're not alone - and the demons lie - You're worth so much and you are enough. HUGS.

  • @ianuarius  Feb 6

    @frenchcricket You're important to people here so no self harm allowed, alright?

  • @cynthiawolff  Feb 6

    I adore you beautiful Frenchcricket...
    Your talent is off the charts..
    Warm hugs from California.

  • @petemurphy  Feb 6

    Depression, anxiety, OCD, trichotillomania, and various other related disorders here.
    I'm doing ok at the moment (apart from the trichotillomania, which is raging). I'm no longer in therapy, and currently weaning off my meds, but I know it can only take the slightest thing to slip back into the gloom.

    Love to you, @frenchcricket . I hope you can get hold of your medication very soon.

  • @mikeskliar  Feb 6

    big giant virtual hugs to everyone on this thread who is having a tough day, and know that this community and all of you mean alot to me and so many others....

  • @courtneyrae Feb 6

    @frenchcricket i had a similar problem almost happen to me a month ago. Luckily for me I only had to miss a days worth (2 doses) before they got it back in stock, but i was terrified. Being off my meds for more than 3 days generally causes suicide attempts or in the best case, severe catatonia and physical pain. I nearly checked myself back into the hospital. I hope you get your meds soon, but in the mean time its probably best to try to find one or more people to stay with you so that nothing bad happens. Watch a movie or try to read to destract your mind.

  • @rainchaser  Feb 6

    Virtual hugs sent to you as well! I hope you're able to get your meds in time!! In the meantime, call a friend to come over and support you or or call a family member to support you.

  • @snoozin  Feb 6

    I have dealt with anxiety and depression of many years both personally and with members of my family. I know it isn't easy. @frenchcricket you are not alone. Wishing you success in locating some meds. You can see from this thread you have support.

  • @lvgd09  Feb 6

    @frenchcricket I can relate to that as I missed a prescription because of this stupid delivery service they tried. I have to have my anxiety depression medicine or it feels like my head is on fire. I've been cutting my pills in half now where once I had enough to never run out. I hope you get your medicine soon and sorry to hear this. Hey, but I'm here to support you and I think I understand. I need to take the other half of the pill right now, sadly. I'm serious, I fear running out of medicine because I go nuts. I didn't think I was hooked but I know I am now. Yesterday was a bad one for me (medicine related). I needed the full dose and didn't realize it until I started, uh, freaking out (details skipped).

  • @helenseviltwin  Feb 6

    @frenchcricket sorry to hear you're having a hard time. Just echoing what other people have said that you are important to us and do shout if there's anything practical you need.

  • @roddy  Feb 6

    @frenchcricket You asked 'please can we support each other.' The answers from this thread is a very clear - yes we can. There is a friendliness in FAWM that is rare and special. You are part of this community, you are valued and you have written in the past in support of others. Now, perhaps it's time to let others support you. I and so many people here, wish you well.

  • @spinhead Feb 6

    After a sucky 2018, it wrapped up with the suicide of a young man who was like a son to me. After my own lifetime of chronic depression, I'm all over this hugs and caring thing. I have a stupendously supportive network in real life, but there have been times when I didn't engage with the folks who love me. Leaves a big old opening for the black dog.

    Which, come to think of it, I wrote about in January:

    https://tunehenge.com/sleeping-lie/

  • @bithprod Feb 6

    Yeah, I agree with @roddy. I look forward to FAWM every year, because January always seems to be especially tough. I always enjoy the kindness and support here. I must admit, though, that I'm not where I should be right now and have several finished songs and lyrics that I haven't posted because of that.

    I can't even write or talk about that damn black dog. It makes everything worse. Better to keep myself occupied. That mostly means to write and record songs these days, as chronic inflammations keep me from doing my day job.

    Let's all just try to take care of each other. I guess all the best songwriters are struggling artists.

  • @raygungirls Feb 6

    I've been through a few bouts of bad depression over the years. The most recent was just last month. Sort of hovering around that hole because my mother passed on last year (I didn't participate last year because I was taking care of her) and I had a whole bunch of health issues of my own.
    My kind of music helps me a lot, because I do a lot of yelling. Really pushing the sound from my chest.
    I have PTSD from the three heart surgeries I've had and living with this constant fear of my heart failing. ๐Ÿ˜‰
    One day at a time...

  • @frenchcricket  Feb 6

    Thanks all, you're all absolutely wonderful people โค๏ธ

    Hadn't meant for this to be focused on me, actually. I'm well aware that it's a temporary, chemical thing. That doesn't make it any easier to deal with in the meantime, but hey ho

  • @jessi14  Feb 6

    Great thread, thanks for opening it. I used to suffer from anxiety. I have gotten treatment for a while now and it helped me lots. I also do a lot of meditation. There is a nice app called "headspace", the basic version of it is free. Speaking of buddhism and mental health, I love Tara Brach resources from her website. From her I learned that self-hatred is just a trance, it's real, but not true. I hope this thread can be a place where people can come to if they need someone to listen to. @frenchcricket I hope you feel better soon.

  • @scottlake  Feb 7

    @frenchcricket you have support here in the Mountain Time Zone. 1. Are you currently safe? 2. Who are you contacting on your safety plan that is nearby? Itโ€™s ok to contact that person now.

  • @frenchcricket  Feb 7

    I'm safe - have people checking in on me and I'm nowhere near the danger point in terms of suicidal ideation

  • @zecoop  Feb 7

    Occasional anxiety and depression but nothing much, and usually caused just by normal life stress. I have made changes in job situations when possible and that's helped. Also just giving myself time to not do the things I think I should be doing and a little understanding for when I mess up. Others in my family have more serious anxiety and depression and have found a lot of help in finding someone that they can talk to, such as an actual therapist. That has helped them a lot.

    All the best and a bunch of warm wishes and friendship from me @frenchcricket - You are super talented and I enjoy what you do and am very glad you are here! I'm glad everyone is here - FAWM is the best. ๐Ÿ˜€

  • @scottlake  Feb 7

    @frenchcricket very good. Mild depression / anxiety that runs in the family. So, Iโ€™m familiar.

  • @reisupstudio  Feb 7

    Very familiar from a bout years back. Sabbath rest.
    https://open.spotify.com/track/13Qc52...

  • @sunnymae  Feb 7

    @frenchcricket ...We are a family here. No one will be left behind. We are artists with intense feelings and very special circuitry. It's good to know we are not alone with our various states of mind and conditions. I applaud you for reaching out for I'm certain you have helped more than just yourself. Thank you.

  • @caseewilson  Feb 7

    @frenchcricket many hugs and much love to you. I hope you get your meds sorted soon but meanwhile, we are here x

  • @julesbf Feb 7

    Great thread and so important that these things are talked about and not hidden from view (men are particularly good at doing this!). many musician friends that I know have experienced mental health challenges, but I think it is widespread everywhere (just so happens I know a lot of musicians). FAWM is an awesome community and hopefully this thread demonstrates the love and support that can be generated from all over the globe. Sending love and virtual hugs to all the beautiful people who need it today. (@frenchcricket

  • @jamkar  Feb 7

    You have my hugs and best wishes at heart. Hope you get chemical help soon. Ongoing CBT + meds can help.

  • @chandra83  Feb 7

    Social Anxiety + Depression + Suicidal Thoughts = Me.

  • @tamsnumber4  Feb 8

    It can be felt in our words and art, we all seek music and writing as an outlet for our issues and sorrows. I struggle as well and happy to be in such a supportive community and find that swimming through your art so helpful to me......keep creating creatives and know you aren't alone and are appreciated.

  • @frenchcricket  Feb 8

    Feeling a ton better now I'm back on meds. This was a hormone issue rather than SSRIs, so my mood dropped off a cliff like, scarily fast.

  • @alyxanderjames  Feb 8

    @frenchcricket I'm so glad to hear youโ€™re doing better!

  • @mkd  Feb 8

    Iโ€™m a total mess to be honest, and struggling to write that on here. A comment on another thread that may or may not be directed at me has just reduced me to tears. The night this current thread was posted I was in bits, sobbing in the kitchen while my kids were in the next room, and later sobbing in front of them, but didnโ€™t feel it was a valid thing to put here. My feeling of self worth is rock bottom and FAWM is a double edged sword for this kind of anxiety. Iโ€™m partway through a course of cbt, but Iโ€™ve just made myself a doctors appointment for this evening.

  • @stevenwesleyguiles  Feb 8

    @mkd I'm so sorry you experience some of the negative side of FAWM commenters. ๐Ÿ˜ž

    I've had I'm a mess moments too. In fact, the first year I started FAWM (2008) I discovered the joy (sarcasm) of panic attacks.

    I've done a lot of work (and even some medications) to help with that. It still pops up now and then. This month can be crazy with high self expectations...so I try so hard to be kind to myself and rest.

    I'm glad you felt comfortable sharing your struggles! I've found it super therapeutic to share.

  • @treble  Feb 8

    @frenchcricket and @mkd sending lots of virtual love and hugs and support to you. I have mental health challenges and have had medication shortages so I can relate. Please always hang in there and reach out for help when needed. I've had so many episodes of major depression I can tell myself this always feels hopeless and never ending but it has always ended and gotten better. I trust and hope it will for you too.

  • @pearlmanhattan  Feb 8

    @mkd - here's my hands, hold on to them. You're so not alone in your tears or here. Good call on the doctor's appointment. I'm trying this year to pull away from the forums, or at least any thread that makes my feelings move a little - except this one. Hugs.

  • @spinhead Feb 8

    @stevenwesleyguiles If you started FAWM in 2018 what was you doin' all them years before that?

    I've had to learn to avoid certain topics and people on FAWM 'cause I just can't bear some kinds of stress. (That's not hyperbole; personal attacks put me on the closet floor in the fetal position. It's very hard on my wife, who has to coax me out and put me back together. An ouce of prevention, etc.)

  • @zecoop  Feb 8

    @spinhead - @stevenwesleyguiles was just practicing FAWMing before, and now in 2018... he has STARTED!! ๐Ÿ˜€

  • @pearlmanhattan  Feb 8

    @spinhead hugs.

  • @leomozi  Feb 8

    When I feel an urge to harm myself, I try to bring to mind how I felt after cutting myself or punching myself-- not the immediate relief but the longer-term pain and disappointment. It doesn't always work for me, and it may not work for some people at all, but it has saved me some scars and bruises.

  • @mkd  Feb 8

    Thanks folks, Iโ€™ve been to the docs and got some meds. Theyโ€™ve explained that itโ€™s at least 2 weeks if not 4 before they will kick in. It will be good to make a start, but Iโ€™m not looking forward to the interim period. Appreciate the safe space to share, thank you.

  • @pearlmanhattan  Feb 8

    @mkd hugs

  • @stevenwesleyguiles  Feb 8

    LOL @spinhead
    I must have been anxious and missed the other zero.
    I started in 2008 (it's been edited by now or very soon). ๐Ÿ˜€

  • @stevenwesleyguiles  Feb 8

    @zecoop LOL. It's only just begun. ๐Ÿ˜€
    @frenchcricket Glad to hear that got sorted so quickly!
    @spinhead I didn't know about this! So good you have a supportive spouse! And of course, some cool FAWMers have your back as well.
    @mkd Glad you have this space.
    @chandra83 How are you doing?

  • @robynmackenzie  Feb 8

    As someone who struggles with PTSD and bipolar, thank you for creating this thread and this space. Sometimes my illness sparks creativity and sometimes it kills it. One of the things that I love about FAWM is that even when I'm in a depressive episode I am usually able to gather enough energy from this space to create something. I'm glad you got your meds and are feeling better! @mkd it's so hard sometimes to not take things to heart and internalize negative messages. Big hugs. We've got your back here.

  • @spinhead Feb 8

    @stevenwesleyguiles Lifetime of verbal abuse from family and first wife, physical abuse from some. Past 15 years, not being afraid when I get out of bed in the morning, not being afraid to speak my mind or listen to music I like or take a day off or just be myself is magic.

  • @sherrycanary  Feb 9

    5 years ago , during FAWM, I found out that the man I was madly in love with was cheating on me.
    I didn't think i could finish and wrote about what happened in a Forum post. All the caring and support i got here helped me through it.
    Such a beautiful caring community
    Breath in the love @frenchcricket

  • @ustaknow Feb 9

    I admire all the folks here; it's a great thing to have here.

    When I'm asked about fawm, I comment, just like in real life, it takes about two years to know what's what and who's who, how and why and etc, -- don't jump in head first, necessarily.

    I too, observed and learned some are here for the music, and some are not, and some nevertheless somehow manage in and out of their non-music agenda... yes, I see certain folks and now just avoid whatever that may be unless really musically centered. Then, usually, those folks fall off since, not there for that ๐Ÿ˜

    Folks don't really "get" this "depression" thing as well as they could and don't realise for some reason there are many scenarios that derive from it. Consider someone whom is authentically suicidal, may as well be homicidal. This is a particular concern "today" since then, rather than engage in initial thoughts consider other solutions to the frustration they engage. I had a very close friend from long ago who was severly bi-polar, -- back in my first Degree, "art", well, artists are artist. However, she married a very NON-artist which didn't compute. So, one really low point I got a call, and she was planning her husbands demise... which I was gratefully able to disuade.

    One thing I've cited "here", is, - for as long as I've been "online" and it's been a long time, loooonnng time ๐Ÿ˜€, here at FAWM I was actually appologised to, twice, and we moved on, no hard feelings. THAT "never" happens, otherwise. Then there are those who for who knows why look for you to krappe on. But, the beauty of fawm is that it is NEW every year, no embeded "Gentry" is really possible; which does kill most "groups" in about two years, I've noticed.

    Always remember this is a GLOBAL community with many ESL folks who don't get English as you may! OMG, all my foreign family, how they've learned the hard way. AND, if you just assume the best, first of what's said, you may avoid a false positive.(Cont. Below ๐Ÿ˜€ )

  • @ustaknow Feb 9

    (Cont. from above ๐Ÿ˜€ )
    Within my early online univ level classes, I required folks to state back what they heard then address it. All, took the positive and said, "if this is what I think you meant, hope you meant ๐Ÿ˜€ then... otherwise, I'd need clarification..." and etc.

    I've flushed out one, or two intended negative folks with that..., "anything else...?" then answer. They are masters at covering their tracks, but, one day, - they won't; that's when they "take this year off" ... since next year, two years later FAWM is new-new, again; they return.

    I've tracked this type, kicked out of a "Board", go to another and OMG... there they are, SSDD ๐Ÿ˜€ Trolls, gotta luv'em, -- I guess they need luv too ๐Ÿ˜

    Happy FAWM2019! Yeah!...

  • @vgenfan Feb 10

    @frenchcricket thank you for reaching out here and for your honesty. Thanks to everyone else for sharing here as well. I can't know anyone else's pain or suffering, but my heart feels an echo of each one of you and I send out wishes for peace. I am struggling with the early stages of shock and grief and am finding deep comfort in staying close to friends at this time. Lifeline. I just downloaded audio books by 2 of my favorite teachers, Pema Chodron and Stephen Levine. Early mornings are especially hard. Mostly I feel terrified at the enormity of my feelings. It's been hard to write mostly because of all the stuff I have to attend to right now, but I am hoping to give myself the gift of time with my guitar and notebook today. Thanks for welcoming this newbie to this beautiful community!

  • @haim  Feb 10

    @frenchcricket I'll just say this - Love yourself, do things you love, and remember you were created unique and no one else is like you! You are the best! Just keep rocking! I admire your effort to ask for help, but bottom line, you will always need yourself, love yourself limitlessly and don't give a damn about what people say about you. You are sunshine! If you need any more help, I really recommend you to listen and see some "Trent Shelton" videos, he is a great spiritual mentor and more. Good luck with being happy! Love, Haim.

  • @chandra83  Feb 10

    @stevenwesleyguiles I'm... functioning. Avoiding temptations to hurt myself. (At least physically.)

  • @chandra83  Feb 10

    Side Note: You are all lovely, and I'm putting out good thoughts for you all. <3

  • @jessi14  Feb 12

    These day I am rocking my mental health: https://fawm.org/songs/91722/. Writing the song felt real good!

  • @itoarazi Feb 23

    Per the suggestion of @hummingbear ...first off, I just discovered this thread, and to anyone going through anything, don't lose hope. Too many people I've known have taken their own lives, and I was almost one of them a few years ago. It DOES get better.

    That said, writing this was cathartic, as I wanted to convey desperate online cry for help. https://fawm.org/songs/96365/

    Perhaps someone has a companion/response/counterpoint piece to this.

  • @raygungirls Feb 23

    I think thia year is probably the first where I've written a blatantly obvious song about my battle with depression. Really like the way it came out, definitely going to polish it up afterwards. https://fawm.org/songs/94653/

  • @chrishope Mar 3

    thanks for sharing

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