3/6 update: my friend Misty from college sang Mary's part and it is amaziiiiiing.
First and foremost: soooooo many thank yous, applauses, roses, bundles of ... gold coins, to @cowex, who went above and beyond my challenge of, "Hey can you write an orchestral score for this song?" The original track was just a guitar and some brief notes on style from me and he NAILED IT SO HARD and totally read my mind with regard to how I wanted the music to sound and was so great to jump in even though I was like "This might be really complicated." I literally could not have done this without his help and musical prowess. I owe him 1,000,000 cookies.
Second: if you are a woman who can sing this comfortably and can record it, or if you know a woman who can, please let me know! I would much prefer a woman's voice on this track but don't know who to pester, haha.
For the longest time I've wanted to write a musical about a regular guy who gets stuck in a town where everyone sings. This is a "proof of concept" song I guess for that musical, which is as of now called "Musictown."
Below is a bit of backstory to it, which I suggest you read right now so you'll understand what's going on in the song itself.
Andy's car broke down and he managed to pull it into a mechanic shop on the edge of a town, where he meets the singing, barbershop quartet mechanics. He figures the singing is a gimmick and doesn't think too much about it.
So he walks into town, where there is a big musical number setting the scene. Andy assumes there's some kind of "annoying music festival" going on and ducks into a diner to escape the insanity.
At the diner he meets Mary, who is a waitress there. It's an awkward meet cute and they kind of hit it off and he asks her on a date, and she says yes.
At the date is where he basically learns that everyone in this town sings. All the time. And people have noticed that he *doesn't* sing, ever. He also learns from the mechanics (somehow) that his car has a broken head gasket that will cost $5,000 to replace and will take 3 days to ship in. He gets kind of furious about that but Mary is able to calm him down.
So after the date, Andy and Mary are walking around town and Andy is still ranting about the head gasket, and Mary sings this song to him. He doesn't want to sing, for reasons that are revealed later on in the play, but for now he just gets frustrated until he blows up at Mary at the end.
And that's it! Along the way there might be:
- West Side Story-esque greaser kids!
- a patter song featuring The Oldest Man in Town, Reginald Archibald (or is it Archibald Reginald?)
- probably tap dancing!
Will Andy sing? What is going on in Musictown? Find out, someday, maybe, if I ever write this whole musical.
andy: it's just insane that they want me to pay $5,000 bucks for it! for a new head gasket! i know they're expensive but those guys are overcharging me like crazy. i could just buy another 97 civic for less than five grand! these guys--who didn't even know what a fuel injector was--!
mary: you'd better calm down or you'll blow your own gasket.
andy: you're right, i'm sorry, it's just ... this place is so crazy. singing and dancing aside, it's like you all missed out on 50 years of history.
[she reaches out her hand to him. he hesitates. she inches closer to him. music starts vamping.]
mary: what are you waiting for?
andy: i just met you, mary.
mary: and aren't you glad you did?
andy: ... of course.
here take my hand
come to me, closer
i want to tell you a secret
you know we're the same
in love and, moreover
we shouldn't live in concealment
andy: in love? what do you mean by--
trust me when i say
i think you'll enjoy
this one small request i bring
don't hate the suggestion, but--
i think you should sing
no, i, listen mary, i don't sing, okay? i don't sing, and even if i did i wouldn't want to do it 24/7. it's like you're all in a fairy tale or something--
you're cute when you're flustered (andy: stop)
your cheeks, they get rosy
like temperatures dropped to a freeze
andy: i can't sing! what about that is so--
but i can assure you
andy: what do you not get?
that i'm neither a fairy
nor anything fey in between
andy: i know you're not, i just--
i'm just a girl
in love with a guy
and i'm asking for one little thing
andy: in *love*?
just humor me, andy--
andy: you think i should sing. i got it. mary, there's a *reason* why i don't sing, okay? it's just that--
nobody has to know
nobody needs to hear
andy: where is that music coming from?!
there is nothing you owe
and there is nothing
you should fear
woo me with your sexy voice
what's the matter?
how can i help you?
andy: i don't sing, mary.
andy: no, mary! not everyone sings! everyone in your little podunk town sings for some probably diabolical reason, but not everyone in the entire world sings! some of us are tone-deaf! some of us are *actually deaf*! you can't just assume everyone does what you do just because you haven't seen otherwise!)
i didn't know
andy (awkwardly backpedaling): i know you didn't know. that's the problem. look, i'm sorry, i didn't mean to blow up at you like that.
i should probably go
andy: are you sure? i'm having fun, i swear to you!
i've got ... work
andy: i'm sorry. i'll ... i'll call you tomorrow?
thank you for the lovely evening, andy.
maybe he's right
maybe there's someplace
where everyone talks without singing
but oh what a barren
a destitute, awful upbringing
oh, what am i doing?
i just met this man
and now like some velcro i cling
if just for your heart rate--
if just for our sake--
if just cause it's fun to--
i wish you would sing