Oh Labyrinth. This is a blues written from Sara's point of view.
Jim Henson is one of my heroes. Again like Armstrong, he came into this world, made a million dollars and left the world a categorically better place.
It was only recently brought to my attention that Bowie's character actually had a name. It's still impossible for me to watch that film and not assume that it's not just the normal David Bowie we see on screen.
For fans of the film, there's a line from the film in each verse and a big tip of the hat to my favourite New Zealand duo Flight of the Concords.
This song features an obscure word used in the Australian national anthem to describ the island continent being 'surrounded' or 'girt' by sea, but I've always wanted to see it being used in some other context. Australians, You're welcome 😀
Bigger Bulge Than Bowie’s Blues (Blues in C) as it would be sung by Sara
My baby's got a bigger bulge than Bowie in tight tights
My baby's got a bigger bulge than David Bow-i in tight grey tights
My Baby he’s jug-a-gling his dirty balls of glass
while I'm tryin to deal with his dinner here from night last
Nappy’s so big that it’s lookin’ like a near blowout
The Hindenberg blimp’s a comin', and it’s seats are all sold out
So No one light a match 'cause his pants are full of tar
Oh the humanity! but he be all like Nothing, Nothing? tra-la-la?!
I know, come up on my shoulder baby, it’ll be fun I bet
Ah, It’s so stimulating being my hat
The Buzard told the monkey said now ‘Listen Jack’
you Know it’s against the rules to poo near other people’s heads like that
No need to check, it's plain from the glint, in his eye
No need to check, just look at the glint, in his eye
I wanna go run and hide you can tell I’m sad
‘Cause you’re the eternal bog of stank, it’s official; Smell bad!
Bigger bulge than Bowie blues
You know that he be feeling better now with nothin’ left to lose
My Baby’s got the bigger bulge than David Bowie blues
Goblin King Goblin oh Goblin King, wherever you may be
I can bear it no longer sir Goblin, wherever you may be
Take this Child far aWay from me, Did I say that right?
I just want to go to my room to play with toys if that’s alright?
Well? Do you Need to adjust your antennea to get my message read
Are you up there Goblin King? Or do you need to adjust your nipple a little to get this signal into your head
why can’t You be in charge of changin’ him, with nappies i’m all girt
you Listening Dave or are you just floatin’ around smokin’ astroturf?
It's as natural as a crystal, Nothing more nothin less
as natural as your crystal, Nothing more than a natural process
If you Turn it this way and look into it, it’ll Show you your dreams
I must have had a cheese dream that night, ‘cause that just makes me wanna scream
I hear my baby cryin, hard as babe could cry
I hear my baby crying, as hard babe could cry
You know things will get alot worse once he does his “magic dance“
The Joke’s on you Bowie ‘cause there’ll be something bouncin’ in his pants
Bigger bulge than Bowie blues
It’s like I gotta big white stripe and he is Pepe Le Piu
My Baby’s got a bigger bulge than David Bowie blues
Come inside, come inside have a cup o’ tea
Come on inside meet the missus, have nice cup o’ tea
Now Look here mr. worm, it’s like you’re not even tryin’ to see
He can keep that slug with his pants all a-glug, that gig ain’t for me
You see, I got 13 hours to solve this labyrinth city.
Wait a sec, I get 13 whole hours to try and solve this labrinth city.
But since my Baby’s with Bowie it’s Such-a-serendipa-pity
I’ll spend my time down at the pub. Oh-a-Sara-such-a-pity.
Everything I wanted, Bowie you have done
You done everything I ever wanted, you know you’re number one
There’s just One little thing that’d baby proof this place
How about some baby gates when screwing round on Escher’s staircase?
You Can’t throw babies in air and walk away for someone else to catch
It’s not cool throwing babies in air and just walk away, no there’s a catch
‘cause While you throwing him up, without the slightest of a frown
sure You might be choosing up, but you can count that “he chose down”
Baby’s got the Bigger bulge than bowie blues
it’s Bigger than that pair of socks, you got down your pants
my Baby’s got the bigger bulge than You Bowie, Let’s Dance!
Solo...You know, I be feelin’ better, Now with nothin’ left to loose
my Baby’s got the bigger bulge than You Bowie, You Lose