So those of you who know me will know i do the odd day supply/Cover teaching to supplement my private teaching.
Last Friday, I was given a choice of PSHE or Art in the afternoon. I said i didn't mind so got year 10 (15 year olds) PSHE.
I was given no lesson plan and 5 minutes before the lesson was told "you are teaching sex eductation!" and was provided with a box marked Contraception and another with mystery objects in!!!
Clearly i thought it was a joke, as nobody prepared anything for me and i was thrown to the year 10 lions!!
So @shortdan said i should write a song about it. So i have and here it is and it all actually happened including the digereedoo comment which happaned before she knew what the lesson was and also which left my laughing uncontrollably before i even started the lesson!!
NEVER AGAIN!!! Anyway enjoy x
It was late in the afternoon
playing a teacher's life
with one more lesson left to teach
See the day out with no trouble or strife
A bearded gingerman appeared
with a box full of stuff
He must have been Jeremy Beadle
Cos something here was immediately wrong
I open a box of fallic objects all erect and long
Was this a game? I don't know the name,
I just want to run away
this isn't a show, my heart beating so
If i jump i'll wake up, know one will know
Into the classroom
The year 10's all in their seats
One girl innocently questions me
Are you going to show us how to play your digereedoo!!
Contraception is the lesson
I open up the box
Now there's no turning back
Drunken goggles, condoms and a fitted cap
Teach that lesson tell them all that you don't know about that.......
It wasn't a game, teaching's the name
So i didn't run away
Put on a show, so they will know
You're human and enjoy a laugh
They go away, with smiles on their face
No one learned but they had a crack
So then I say, contemplating my day
Mushroom Dreams were never much worse than that!!!