February Album Writing Month - FAWM.ORG

Downturn (*22929)

theshyretirer

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Tagged As:

alternative dark frenetic electronic urgency

Liner Notes:

Made/recorded this today (2/3/12) and just finished it some moments ago. Cheers & enjoy everyone.

Lyrics:

Departing soon away
Life nearly deplete
Out of batteries
No cause to succeed

On low charge
Less of dying stars
Living on the edge
Crash into a car

Treat people really rough
As you're hard to please
A bottomless pit
Of wants and needs
They say to seek help
So you ignore their advice
You can get a loan
Or pay the ultimate price

You're on a downturn
With few places to go
Better pack your bags
Just hit the road
You're on a downturn
With few places to go
Better pack your bags
Just hit the road

Just hit the road

You're on a downturn
You're on a downturn

Feedback:

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regnaracer 3 months ago

I like this, especially the gated (I think?) sound on the drums. It's got a nice angular rhythm, very almost jagged, which I think is cool.

If anything I would say maybe work on the melody a bit more, or even just bring the vocals up a bit and make them drier. That's just my opinion though. Otherwise, like I said, I enjoyed the song.